The Letter
by meanoldmoe
Summary: A little Valentines one shot I came up with. John and Cameron of course ! Please read and review!


**The Letter **

Cameron was sitting alone at the kitchen table, as she usually did after patrolling.

Everyone else in the house was asleep or at least remained in their room.

For any normal person, a time like this was a welcome time to sit back and reflect on the day or life in general. For Cameron, things were different.

She had several blank pieces of paper in front of her, a pen was to the right and half a glass of water placed a bit further away from the pen. The water was to help replenish her synthetic skin and muscles from any loss of moisture, due to the hot weather. The pen and paper was to be used for writing a letter for John.

She had files recorded from a while back of him explaining why letters and notes were written. As far as she understood, sometimes when someone wanted to provide comfort to others or to themselves, they would write down how they were feeling.

This was Cameron's first attempt at writing in this sort of way and she was finding it quite difficult.

She had an idea as to what she wanted to say, but she was unsure of how to write the letter and what words she would use in it.

Weird things had been happening to her, ever since she had been damaged by the explosion and went rogue. Yes, she had fought the Skynet programming urging her to kill John and won. Ever since that day, John's birthday, things seemed different between her and John. The more she wanted to be with him, the less he wanted to be with her. To complicate things, there was Riley.

Cameron had analyzed the relationship between Riley and John. Based on her observations, she felt Riley was a threat to John's safety. She manipulated John and from Cameron's point of view, Riley was causing John to do things that could endanger himself and others close to him.

Riley had some sort of affect on Cameron too. Whenever Riley was nearby, Cameron would feel something similar to pain, but not really pain. She was unsure what she felt, but she knew she felt something, a sort of uneasiness and it had her wondering if she was losing her abilities to protect John.

Cameron remained sitting still, but her mind was going over and over situations logged in her memory.

Almost every time Riley was around her, Cameron would run into software and hardware problems. She would have uncontrolled twitches in her hand and her software would run through various situations on how to kill Riley. Cameron knew Riley was not a threat to her, but somehow she felt threatened by the blond haired girl. Riley was driving a wedge between her and John.

To top it off, John seemed genuinely captivated by Riley.

_Was it her form?_

_Was it her personality?_

_What does she have that I don't have?_

_Why does John ignore me?_

_Am I repulsive to John?_

Cameron remained seated, her face betraying no emotion as she contemplated her plight.

Earlier on in the evening, shortly after completing her patrol, Cameron had decided to write John the letter. She was unsure if she would ever give him the letter, her reason, she was worried it would affect him in such a way that it would drive him further away from her. Cameron did not want John sending her away, have her dismantled or worse, activate the explosive in her head near to her chip from the fear that she had lost control again. She knew she had problems, but she had full command over her termination systems at the moment and the pocket watch with the kill switch inside was added insurance for John's safety, just in case she did lose control and revert back to her primary reason for being created.

Cameron pressed her lips tightly together and slowly looked down at the blank sheet on the table.

She had so many things to say to John, but she was unsure as to where to start.

She raised her glass of water to her lips and took a small sip. Placing the glass back down on the table, she reached over to pick up the pen to start her letter.

Seconds ticked away like hours as Cameron stared down at the white sheet of paper.

Finally she began to write...

_John, _

_I don't know where to begin, so please understand if this letter seems a bit odd._

_Normally I do not write down how I feel and seeing as this is all new to me, I am having difficulty doing this. _

_I believe I should try to explain a few things to you John._

_I want to be able to prove to you that you can trust me, just like future you did._

Cameron paused as she went through a few memory files she had on future John.

He had been kind and understanding to her.

He had taken the time to teach her how to become a person and he had trusted her.

Cameron continued...

_Again, I am so very sorry for going bad._

_I would never intentionally hurt you John, not as long as I have control over my systems._

_My whole existence is to make sure you remain alive and unharmed._

_Without you I have no purpose and no reason to continue._

_I would cease functioning if you died, for I would have failed if I allowed you to be harmed or killed._

Something wet fell onto the paper, a single tear.

Cameron stopped writing for a moment, she was shocked over what had just happened.

Normally she had complete control over her systems, but this tear was an anomaly. Nothing like this should happen , unless she commanded it to. These unplanned slip ups and glitches were becoming more frequent. She performed a quick systems scan, but found nothing wrong, but things still didn't feel right. Inwardly her systems were in a turmoil, outwardly she was stone faced as she struggled to deal with her developing emotions.

Cameron continued her writing, despite the new found complications emerging in her software.

_I am sorry to burden you with this letter, but I felt it was needed so you can begin to understand me and my actions around you._

_I would also like to comment on Riley._

_She is not good for you John, she is a danger to you and herself. If Skynet were to find out about her, it could capture her and use her as a means to trap and kill you. I know I would do that, if I was Skynet. You must be careful John, she is a high risk._

_John, you must stop and think about what you are doing. You need the best protection possible and I can provide the best protection for you._

_I know I can be a freak sometimes, but I will learn to be better person for you and do a better job at blending in with people._

Cameron stopped writing and placed the pen on the table.

Was she being too forward with her letter?

Was she not saying enough?

Should she worry?

She tilted her head to the side while she reflected on what she had written.

So far, she was unhappy with what she wrote. The letter, in simplest terms, was not good or as the girls in school would say... 'sucked'!

She picked up the pen again and decided to put onto the paper her exact feelings for John.

Cameron knew the letter was mostly for her benefit and would not be seen by a soul.

_John_

_What I said when I was trapped between the two vehicles was the truth._

_John, I love you._

_I loved you from when I first saw you._

_I don't know what I would do if you were gone._

_You are the reason for my existence._

_If keeping you alive so that Skynet never comes about and I cease to exist, then so be it._

_John, I feel._

_I have feelings and I understand why I have them._

_From when we first met, you were kind to me, even when you found out I was a machine._

_You accepted me for what I am and you have treated me like a real person._

_For that, I am always in your debt John._

_I understand if you do not love me, for I am not human. I am a machine._

_I don't want you to push me away John, I want to be beside you, to protect you, even if you only want me around as your protector, your champion, your guardian angel._

_Please understand, I am still learning about feelings and so I need you to be patient with me._

_I need your help John._

_I need you._

_Please, please don't push me away._

_Cameron_

She placed the pen back down onto the table and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hands. This was the most efficient way to hide any sign of her being upset, for at that moment a lone figure had just strolled into the kitchen. Not that she was surprised, she had sensed him coming down the stairs moments earlier.

"Hey Cameron" John croaked as he sleepily made his way to the fridge. He had on a pair of boxers and his hair was sticking out in all directions.

"John...it is late and you should be resting." Cameron responded calmly while she shuffled papers.

John yawned. "I was thirsty and needed..."

He paused and looked over to Cameron, his eyes resting upon her slender form. From his angle, he could see she had changed from her usual lookout garb into yellow pajama shorts, a sleeveless white T-shirt, but nothing on her feet.

Even in sleep ware, Cameron looked stunning. Her hair was tied up into a pony tail, revealing her long delicate neck.

John smiled as he got caught up in the moment.

_She looks beautiful._

"Is something wrong John?"

"Cameron?" John snapped out of his daze.

Cameron looked over to John. Her face was still a bit damp on the cheeks from the tears and there was a softness in her gaze as she lifted her eyes up to meet with his.

"Yes John?" She responded quietly. She sensed by his sudden elevation in his heart rate that he had noticed she was distressed.

John paused for a second, her face was finally in full view and it was apparent to him that she had been crying. With her normally being so stone faced and unemotional, this came as a big surprise to him.

"Were you crying?"

She wanted to say yes, she wanted to tell him everything, but the possibility of him rejecting her was too great.

Cameron quickly looked away. "No"

John looked towards the table. "What are you writing?"

"It is something for school." She lied.

John started to walk closer to the table, he was curious to catch a glimpse of what Cameron had done.

"Can I see it?"

"No...I am not finished." She replied abrasively, while at the same time scooping up the papers.

"Awww...C'mon Cameron..."

"I said No John." Cameron snapped.

"Well okay then...I'll grab myself a drink and then leave you alone." John shook his head in aggravation and turned towards the cupboard to reach for a glass.

Cameron noticed his change in his mood. She knew she had been to harsh and so decided to try to apologize to him. She put the papers back down, stood up and slowly approached John.

"John?"

"What!" John grunted as he opened the fridge and reached for the apple juice.

"I am sorry...I didn't mean to upset you..."

"You didn't." John cut in sharply, causing Cameron to pause for a moment.

She looked away from John as she thought about her options. Should she show him the letter?

_No!_

Should she tell him how she feels?

_No!_

Cameron was caught up in a perplexing situation. She was at a loss as to what to do or say.

In the mean time, John finished chugging down his juice and he quickly placed his glass on the counter beside him. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, John spun around to leave.

"Wait" Cameron reached out and touched John's forearm with her hand. Instantly she read his vitals, his heart rate was still elevated, temperature and salinity was also elevated. She sensed something was bothering him.

John flinched, but didn't pull away from Cameron's touch. He looked down to where her hand rested on his arm and then up into her eyes. What she had done, was totally out of character. Her face looked almost stressed and her eyes seemed to be brighter than normal. He wasn't scared, but intrigued by how she had changed in a matter of seconds.

Cameron leaned closer to John and looked up to his face, her hand never left his forearm, but tightened its grip ever so slightly.

John sensed her clasp his arm and as she closed the space between them, he noticed the heat radiating from her body as Cameron brushed up against his chest.

"John...I am sorry for being so harsh. Maybe some day soon I will let you see what I wrote." Cameron's voice was barely a whisper.

John swallowed deeply, he wasn't sure what to do, so he remained still and made no effort to leave.

With Cameron so close to him, John was getting weird feelings, but not the bad kind of weird, it was something new to him and totally out of the ordinary for him to feel it around Cameron.

Similar things were going off inside Cameron. Sensors she hardly used had kicked in and were providing her with huge amounts of data. She was unsure how to proceed as the moment intensified.

Cameron looked deep into John's eyes as she pressed even closer to John. She felt him catch his breath and noticed his heart rate had increased.

John had nowhere to go, his back was right up against the kitchen counter. Cameron was so close to him, he could smell her hair and he felt her hot breath on his bare chest.

Everything around them became a blur. The only thing that mattered was the two of them as they remained so close to each other. The air between them became electrified.

"John?"

Cameron had parted her lips after she whispered his name. John remained silent as he leaned back against the counter, unsure as to what he should do next. Confusion was running rampant in his thoughts as he struggled with his feelings. He never felt like this when he was with Riley, but he knew he should not do what his heart ached for him to do to Cameron.

_Would one kiss changes things?_

John was curious to know how it would feel to kiss Cameron. He wondered if it would feel the same as kissing Riley. Cameron certainly felt real to him, even her breath with its warmth and unsteady rhythm was just like a real girl.

"John?...Are you okay?" There was genuine concern written all over Cameron's face as she spoke.

John looked into her eyes, instantly he was captivated by their warmth and expressiveness. This was something he had never seen from her.

He had to look away for a moment to help clear his head, but it wasn't helping him. His gaze went from her soft innocent eyes, down to her moist lips, still parted and eagerly waiting for him to press his own to them.

John tilted his head lower , moving ever closer to Cameron. He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her closer, his mouth was now a fraction of an inch from hers.

Cameron closed her eyes, as did John. Both were eager to find out where the kiss would lead them.

Just as their lips were about to meet, a tell tale creak came from the staircase.

Cameron instantly pushed away from John.

Visibly irritated, John gave Cameron a look of both pain and frustration.

"Cameron?"

"Someone is coming John...Your Mother." Cameron whispered to him in her serious tone of voice.

"Wha...but how did you know?" John was dumbfounded.

Cameron gave John a puzzled look, paused for a second, then spoke quietly.

"I have my ways of knowing John." Cameron gave John a crooked smile as she turned towards the table. She gathered up her pen and papers in one hand, the glass in another.

Instantly John noticed Cameron had again changed. She seemed to have a glow about her, a radiance seemed to emanate from her. Even her pony tail seemed to be full of spring as it bobbed with her movements. John just stood there with his mouth open.

Cameron looked back over to John, but this time her face went back to its stony mask. "John, you need to go back to bed, it is late."

Sarah rounded the corner, her unsteady gait proving she was still only half awake. She had on her usual sleep ware, a white sleeveless t-shirt and pink pajama bottoms. Even being a bit foggy, Sarah still had her quiet cat like walk as she barely made a noise on the tiled floor with her bare feet.

As she entered the kitchen, she paused to take in the situation, ran her fingers through her tangled mop of hair and spoke in her mom voice.

"I can understand Tin Miss being up, but what are you doing up creeping around?" Sarah's gaze narrowed onto John's form.

John tried to play it cool. "I was thirsty mom...what...can't anyone get a drink without getting the third degree?"

Sarah curled her lip up into a crooked grin. "I sleep with one eye open John, I like to know what's going on all the time." She turned towards Cameron and lifted her chin in question. "What's with you being in here?"

"I was doing homework." Cameron responded

"Then why did I hear you two whispering then?"

Again Cameron responded nonchalantly. "John came into the kitchen for a drink, he was thirsty. Then we talked...We were just making conversation."

Sarah thought for a moment, then spoke. "Well the conversation is over. I suggest both of you get back to bed...well at least in John's case, he needs his sleep." Sarah glanced over to John and tilted her head towards the hallway. "Off to bed mister, you have school in the morning."

"Mom...I am not a baby, I know I have school..."

Sarah cut John's response short with a wave of her hand and a harsh tone of voice. "Then you know that you never get up in the morning...so off to bed."

John grumbled under his breath, stomped around the corner and continued to barge up the stair to his room. With all that had just transpired, it was a sure bet that he would remain up most of the night, thinking about what had just happened and what might have happened, if his mother had not shown up at the wrong moment.

Sarah and Cameron continued their stare down until Sarah gave up trying to outdo the petite cyborg. She sighed, shook her head and turned to make her way out of the kitchen, but not before calling out over her shoulder.

"Make sure you do another patrol around the house Missy...make sure all is quiet." Sarah barked.

"I will." Cameron shot back in a confident tone as she sat back down at the table.

The quiet groan of the stairs indicated Sarah was making her way back to her room, moments later Sarah's door clicked closed, indicating she had gone back to bed.

Cameron now had the house to herself again. This time things were much different, for she now knew that John must have some feelings for her, he must like her. He certainly didn't hate her.

Cameron was a bit disappointed with Sarah's early arrival, but at least she knew John did not want to push her away.

The letter she wrote, that would remain her secret, she would hide that away and keep it safe from prying eyes.

She loved John and now she had hope that he too would come to love her too.

Finally they would be together.

Soon.

**Note: **Thanks to my beta for the quick turn around on this story. ( The1Russter )

This is a little fic for Valentines day...I hope you like it !

I'll remind everyone...AGAIN... I am not a professional writer by any stretch. If you like the story then praise it in a review,

if you see something glaringly wrong...pleeeeze PM me on it and I will fix it...no need to "rip open a new one" in a review!

Thanks for reading this !

Moe


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